Journey to a New Normal

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Hey Hey πŸ˜€

Since my mother died, my family and I have had a new normal thrust upon us. While I can’t speak for them, I know that it has been a very trying transition for me. Each day I learn something new about myself. I miss her terribly, but I can feel myself slowly climbing out of the shadows of depression. It still hurts, and I know it will for a long time to come.

I didn’t realize how much she was a part of my routine until she was gone. All the phone calls, e-mails, and visits (all of my vacation days were spent going back home to see her), GONE. Just like that. When I tell people I’m lost without her, I’m not kidding. This new normal is evil, bitter, dull and cold. But I’m finding my way through it inch by terrible inch.

For example, Mother’s Day is coming. I live in the United Kingdom, and they celebrate it earlier than the United States (FYI…the dates this year are as follows: UK = March 30th, US = May 11th). Because of this, I always had to buy an extra card and wait until May to send it, and PRAY that I didn’t lose it before the time came because I am terribly unorganized. Since she died a four days before Mother’s Day 2013, I ended up putting her last card in the casket with her. It breaks my heart to have to stop because it was something I enjoyed doing for her.

But then I had a lightbulb moment: Why do I have to stop? There HAS to be a better way. She wouldn’t want me to give up something that I enjoy! So this year I am going to start a new tradition in which I give a card and gift to another mother, or mother figure, in my life.

This year it will go to a woman in my small group at church. She is one of the kindest women I’ve ever met. She has been going through some tough times lately, so I’m hoping that this will lift her spirits and let her know that she is truly a blessing to me and everyone around her.

I feel that this is a great way to celebrate my mother’s life by doing something nice for someone else.Β  I think she would have been proud.

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