If I’m in a store and “Rock With You” by Michael Jackson comes on, I have to dance.
It’s the law.
Hey hey 😀
I posted this on Facebook, so I might as well make it a blog entry for the WordPress Community!
1. I hate the word “suture”. It freaks me out. I hate the definition, and I don’t like what it looks like. I’m freaking out right now.
2. I write lists. Lots of lists. I even have a list of lists I want to write. Most of said lists are written on….
3. ….envelopes!!!! My mother used to write things on the backs of old envelopes (recipes, scriptures, shopping lists, etc.) and I noticed that I do it too. In fact….
4. When my mother died, I put her last Mother’s Day card in the casket with her. I wrote a list of promises in it, but I ended up writing the rest of it on the back of the envelope because I remembered a few more things after I sealed it!
I think she would have appreciated it though.
5. My all time favorite sandwich is peanut butter and bacon…..
6. ….which is a shame because I draw closer and closer to becoming a vegetarian.
7. I used to hate sweet potato pie! When I finally tried it, I loved it, but unfortunately it gives me terrible heartburn, so now I CAN’T eat it. GAH!
8. So far in my life I have never broken a bone. Thank you Jesus!
9. I want to be a rock star when I grow up. I’m keeping hope alive that it will happen. (The growing up part.)
10. I love the smell of puppy breath. Puppy lovers know what I mean.
11. I read about 30 comic strips a day. I am always looking for more to add to my collection. My favorite one right now is Zen Pencils. Check it out.
“I wanted to post this the other day about our children are the future. I was dropping my boys off at school, and I wait until they both are inside the school. So all the kids wait outside until it is time to go inside. The things you hear some of these kids say. Kids picking on each other, saying mean things way more cruel than back in our day!! That is why I try to teach my boys, talk to them, educate them. It starts with us as parents! Some just are not paying attention to their children, don’t discipline them or teach them right from wrong! It’s sad! Well not I, I am trying to raise my young men to become good men, good human beings. Kids are so much more mean, and for someone to take their own life because of being bullied is just crazy that it has gotten that bad!! We had bullies in our day but you step to them and fist fight (no one was pulling guns back then) and earn their respect a lot of times you ended up friends, or they left you alone from that point on. Times have changed so much! As my bro says WAKE UP people, give our kids the tools they need to have a bright future, and to make this world a better place!”
Charles Massie Jr.
Daily Prompt: Audience of One Picture the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog. Write her or him a letter.
I knew it was over the night you left. It felt like a final goodbye. I wish you would’ve been a man and told me the truth. I’m curious to know why you left, but I think I know the answer.
I heard you married the other girl, and now you’re divorced. Who else did you cheat on her with?
Let’s see…..I’m 40 now, so that makes you….50. I wonder if you ever grew up. I thought I still loved/missed you, but now I know I loved/missed what we had. I can’t deny it…it was blast to be with you. I have absolutely no regrets. But I was 23, that’s way too young to know about true love.
I have a few things to thank you for.
1. Sushi. LOVE IT.
3. How to make a good martini.
4. How to tell a good joke (timing you always said).
5. The best advice you EVER gave me: Always try something first, then you can say you’ve done it, even if you didn’t like it. Like oysters. Vile little things.
6. Knowing what to NOT allow in a relationship (“I didn’t sleep with her, she only gave me head, so I don’t know why you’re upset.” I can’t BELIEVE how stupid I was then!! I must have been completely punch drunk in lust with you).
Thanks for all of that.
You said I would never meet anyone as great as you. Just so you know, you were 100% wrong. I met a great guy and I’ve been with him for 10 years (married for 7) and he’s
everything you’re not: kind, respectful, loving. Most important of all: he loves me, and doesn’t care that my skin is a different color.
I used to wish that you’d rot in hell. But now I pray that you’re well, and that you’ve met someone special. But I can assure you that you will NEVER meet anyone as great as me.
Hey hey… 😀
Every now and then, when I’m feeling down and need a laugh, I read this e-mail. Obviously, DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME. It’s a long one (sorry) but stay with it. I don’t think it’s true, but it still makes me lmao. I hope you find it as funny as I did, and still do! Sorry if I offend anyone. 🙂
> Subject: How to make your day > For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!! > > Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" > > I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" > > Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe > that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct > number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits > incorrectly. > After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. > > When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a > jackass!" and hung up. > > Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass", and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up. > > Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, as I would have to stop calling the jackass. > > Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" > > He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!" > The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if here's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863. > > [Keep reading, it gets better.] > > The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of her parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. > > I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. > > I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" > > The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. > > I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park. > > A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" > > (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) > > I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. > > After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, > "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?" > > "Yes, it is." > > "Can you tell me where I can see it?" > > "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front." > > I said, "What's your name?" > > "My name is Don Hansen." > > "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" > "I'm home in the evenings." > "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" > > "Yes," > > "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down. > After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. > For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. > > I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a > solution: > > First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello." > > I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up. > > > The jackass said, "Are you still there?" > > I said, "Yeah." > He said, "Stop calling me." > > I said, "No." > > He said, "What's your name, Pal?" > > I said, "Don Hansen." > > He said "Where do you live?" > > "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front." > > "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers." > > "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up. > > Then I called Jackass #2. > > He answered, "Hello." > > I said, "Hello, Jackass!" > > He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." > > "You'll what?" > > "I'll kick your butt." > > "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And I hung up. > > Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. > Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. > > After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. > > Glorious! > > Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life! ;-)