Quote Of My Week

  Thought_Bubble_1

“I wanted to post this the other day about our children are the future. I was dropping my boys off at school, and I wait until they both are inside the school. So all the kids wait outside until it is time to go inside. The things you hear some of these kids say. Kids picking on each other, saying mean things way more cruel than back in our day!! That is why I try to teach my boys, talk to them, educate them. It starts with us as parents! Some just are not paying attention to their children, don’t discipline them or teach them right from wrong! It’s sad! Well not I, I am trying to raise my young men to become good men, good human beings. Kids are so much more mean, and for someone to take their own life because of being bullied is just crazy that it has gotten that bad!! We had bullies in our day but you step to them and fist fight (no one was pulling guns back then) and earn their respect a lot of times you ended up friends, or they left you alone from that point on. Times have changed so much! As my bro says WAKE UP people, give our kids the tools they need to have a bright future, and to make this world a better place!”

Charles Massie Jr.

😉

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Daily Prompt: Audience of One

Daily Prompt: Audience of One  Picture the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog. Write her or him a letter.

B,

I knew it was over the night you left.   It felt like a final goodbye.   I wish you would’ve been a man and told me the truth.   I’m curious to know why you left, but I think I know the answer.

I heard you married the other girl, and now you’re divorced.  Who else did you cheat on her with?

Let’s see…..I’m 40 now, so that makes you….50. I wonder if you ever grew up. I thought I still loved/missed you, but now I know I loved/missed what we had.   I can’t deny it…it was blast to be with you.  I have absolutely no regrets.  But I was 23, that’s way too young to know about true love.

I have a few things to thank you for.

1.  Sushi. LOVE IT.
2.  Documentaries.
3.  How to make a good martini.

4.  How to tell a good joke (timing you always said).

5.  The best advice you EVER gave me:   Always try something first, then you can say you’ve done it, even if you didn’t like it.   Like oysters.  Vile little things.

6.  Knowing what to NOT  allow  in a relationship (“I didn’t sleep with her, she only gave me  head, so I don’t know why you’re upset.”  I can’t BELIEVE how stupid I was then!! I must have been completely punch drunk in lust with you).

Thanks for all of that.

You said I would never meet anyone as great as you.  Just so you know, you were 100% wrong. I met a great guy and I’ve been with him for 10 years (married for 7) and he’s
everything you’re not: kind, respectful, loving.   Most important of all: he loves me, and doesn’t care that my skin is a different color.

I used to wish that you’d rot in hell.  But now I pray that you’re well, and that you’ve met someone special.  But I can assure you that you will NEVER meet anyone as great as me.

Bastard.

The Jackass Story

 

Hey hey…  😀

Every now and then, when I’m feeling down and need a laugh, I read this e-mail.   Obviously, DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME.   It’s a long one (sorry) but stay with it.  I don’t think it’s true, but it still makes me lmao.  I hope you find it as funny as I did, and still do!   :lol:   Sorry if I offend anyone.  🙂

> Subject: How to make your day

> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you 
just need to take it out on someone!!!  Don't take that bad day 
out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!
>
> Now get this.  I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a 
phone call I had to make.  I found the number and dialed it. 
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
>
> I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please
speak to Robin Carter?"
>
> Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!  I couldn't believe
> that anyone could be that rude.  I tracked down Robin's correct
> number and called her.  She had transposed the last two digits
> incorrectly.

> After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still 
lying there on my desk.  I decided to call it again.
>
> When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a
> jackass!" and hung up.
>
> Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass", and put 
it in my desk drawer.  Every couple of weeks, when I was paying 
bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up.  He'd answer,
and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!"  It would always cheer me up.
>
> Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID.  This
was a real disappointment for me, as I would have to stop 
calling the jackass.
>
> Then one day I had an idea.  I dialed his number, then heard 
his voice,  "Hello."  I made up a name.  "Hi.  This is the sales 
office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if
you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
>
> He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called 
him back and said,  "That's because you're a jackass!"
> The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to 
show you how if here's ever anything really bothering you, 
you can do something about it.  Just dial 823-4863.
>
> [Keep reading, it gets better.]
>
> The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out 
of her parking space.  I didn't think she was ever going to
leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very 
slowly back out of the slot.
>
> I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull 
out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.  All of a sudden 
this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong
direction and pulls into her space.
>
> I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do 
that, Buddy.  I was here first!"
>
> The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. 
He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
>
> I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot 
of jackasses in this world.  I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign 
in the back window of his car.  I wrote down the number.  Then 
I hunted for another place to park.
>
> A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. 
I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and 
yelling, "You're a jackass!"
>
> (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number 
on speed dial.)
>
> I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro 
lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
>
> After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said,
> "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro 
for sale?"
>
> "Yes, it is."
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street.  It's a yellow house 
and the car's parked right out front."
>
> I said, "What's your name?"
>
> "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
> "I'm home in the evenings."
> "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes,"
>
> "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
> After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.
> For a while things seemed to be going better for me.  Now when 
I had a problem I had two jackasses to call.  Then, after several
months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just 
wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
>
> I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a
> solution:
>
> First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.  A man answered 
nicely saying, "Hello."
>
> I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
>
>
> The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah."
> He said, "Stop calling me."
>
> I said, "No."
>
> He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
>
> I said, "Don Hansen."
>
> He said "Where do you live?"
>
> "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black
Camaro's parked out front."
>
> "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying
 your prayers."
>
> "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
>
> Then I called Jackass #2.
>
> He answered, "Hello."
>
> I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
>
> He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> "You'll what?"
>
> "I'll kick your butt."
>
> "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now 
Jackass!" And I hung up.
>
> Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told 
them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to 
kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
>
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on 
down W. 34th Street.
>
> After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th 
Street to watch the whole thing.
>
> Glorious!
>
> Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other
 in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one 
of the greatest experiences of my life!

;-)

What *I* Know For Sure (or LisaThangs) – Part 2

Hello again.  🙂

For those of you who missed Part 1, here’s the link https://ohforblogssake.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/what-i-know-for-sure-or-lisathangs-part-1/

Originally this was a list was called 40 Things I Know For Sure, but I decided it was too long for one entry and I was just waiting for the right time to post it, if at all.   Ok…here we go…part 2….

21. Your birthday signifies one more year God let you live on this earth. Don’t dread it, embrace it!

22. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness…it is a means of survival!

23. If you can read, you can cook.

24. God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them from your life for a better reason.

25. Some problems are a little more manageable after a good night’s sleep.

26. No question is stupid.  The only stupid question is the one that didn’t get asked.  It’s better to ask than to never know.

27. When the going gets tough, the tough change into sweats.

28. When you are on vacation from work, being ‘available for emergencies’ doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a doormat.

29. Don’t sit there and worry about something you can’t control.

30. All you skinny girls out there that think you’re fat, you’re not.   Stop fishing for compliments.

31. Your REAL friends will tell you how you really look, if you have something in your teeth, if you stink, etc.

32. Be nice to the wait staff in restaurants. They have access to your food and drink.

33. The speed limit is there for a reason.  OBSERVE IT.

34. If you’re sick, don’t come in to work.   All you’re doing is spreading your nasty germs around the office.     STAY HOME AND GET BETTER!!!!

35.  Don’t try to be in a friendship/relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be in a friendship/relationship with you.  Also…

36.  Don’t try to be in a friendship/relationship you don’t want to be in.    Your heart will die every.single.day.

37.  Your ‘social media’ pages belong to you.   Feel free to  friend or unfriend anyone you want without guilt.

38.  If a friend says something to you that you don’t like, tell them right away, don’t let it fester.   It will RUIN your friendship.

39.  Do what you have to do before you do what you want to do.

40.  You have a right to know what is going on in your relationship.  The minute your partner says you don’t have a right to know, it’s time for you to leave.

😉

What *I* Know For Sure (or LisaThangs) – Part 1

 

Every month, on the last page of of O Magazine, Oprah Winfrey has an essay called ‘What I Know For Sure’.   I immediately thought, if she can do it why can’t I?  I can’t be bothered to write an essay (yawn), however I have a list of things that I know for sure.  Please keep in mind that this is what I know for sure.   In fact…I’ll just call them LisaThangs.  I’m going to be cheeky and split it into 2 parts so I can have 2 separate entries for NaBloPoMo.  Ha!   Ok…let’s go….

1.  God is always in control whether you like it or not, so stop trying to put a question mark where He put a period.

2.  If your relationship status says that ‘It’s Complicated’, you might as well change it to ‘Single’, because that is EXACTLY what you are.  It’s similar to being kind of pregnant.
There’s no such thing.

3.  There’s nothing better than your mother’s home cooking.

4.  Women don’t get dressed up to impress guys.  They do it to compete with other women.

5.  Your gut (intuition, sixth sense, inner god or inner goddess, whatever you want to call it) is 100% correct.  ALWAYS listen to it.

6.  It doesn’t cost anything to say hello to someone.

7.  Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you”. These 2 phrases seem to be disappearing from our vocabulary.

8.  When it’s true love and God allows it, nothing will stand in the way of two people getting together.

9.  Karma is real, and it’s a mofo.

10. Marriage is HARD.  Any couple that says it’s not, is lying.

11. Be kind to one another.  We never know what goes on behind closed doors; everyone you meet is walking through some kind of storm.

12. Traffic is God’s way of getting you to your destination safely.  Speaking of traffic…

13. Always pee before you go somewhere. You’ll thank me if you ever get caught in said traffic.

14. Men who beat/bully/harass/disrespect women, are not real men.

15. Women who beat/bully/harass/disrespect men, are not real women.

16. Some things are better left unsaid to keep someone from getting hurt.   BUT…

17. ….some things need to be said to keep someone from getting hurt.

18. NEVER stay with someone who keeps you a secret.  If they really love you, they’ll want shout it from the mountain tops to make sure that EVERYONE knows that you belong to them and no one else.

19. A good cry can cleanse the soul.

20. No one is better than anyone else.  The only thing in life that is beneath you is thinking that you’re better than everyone else.

To be continued…………
😉

Saturday Flood

 

 

OK…this entry is late, and here’s why….

This morning I woke up at the butt crack of dawn (6:30).  While I LOVE waking up this early on the weekends, I HATE it too.   It’s the weekend….want to keep sleeping!  But, it’s the weekend….I want to enjoy every waking minute of it.

When I went into the kitchen to feed and water the dog, I found a puddle of water around the refrigerator. I thought that maybe the freezer door had been left open, or the dog’s water bowl had spilled over, but no.  I cleaned it up and thought nothing of it. Later on, I heard a weird noise coming from the spare bedroom.   It was the boiler!  Turns out the pressure was low.  I woke my husband and he figured out how to fix the pressure so that the central heating would turn on.  Later on, I went back into the kitchen and noticed that the puddle of water was back again, and it was bigger. To make matters worse, there was another HUGE puddle on the other side of the kitchen.  It also sounded like there was a waterfall behind the kitchen walls.  A beautiful sound, but NOT BEHIND THE KITCHEN WALLS!!!!  We both realized that it wasn’t the refrigerator at all…it was the boiler.

Every single plumbing company we called were fully booked. No one could come until Monday! When we FINALLY got a plumber, he came in and found that a pipe had burst behind the kitchen counter, so he had to knock through the back panel of one of the kitchen units, and drain the whole central heating system. He did a great job.

So £120 later, we find out from the home insurance company that we should have called THEIR plumbing service…then we would’ve gotten all of it done for free!  GAH!!!!!!!

Oh well, at least we have a warm house. Not the best of Saturdays, but it could’ve been worse.

😉