Today’s Prompt: Go back in time to an event you think could have played out differently for you. Let alternate history have its moment: tell us what could, would or should have happened?
I would have completely stayed away from this lady at my job. I’ll just call her R.
Things started off well enough….a coffee break here…lunch break there….it seemed to be going great. But then her true colors came out. Making off-color remarks. Thinking she’s better than everyone else. Very judgmental. Not the kind of friend I like to have. Every time I was around her I wanted to chew my arm off to get away! I’ve never felt like that before!
So when she made some not very nice remarks about the fact that my sister-in-law was losing her battle to breast cancer, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had enough, so I stopped speaking to her and having breaks with her. Not the right way to end a friendship I admit, but I didn’t know how to do it. Normally friendships just dry up and float away. You can break up with a spouse or significant other, but how do you break up with a friend?
Anyway, I blocked her on Facebook, and on the messenger system at my job. I thought that she might get the hint, but she still chased me to find out what was wrong. So when I finally told her (six months later, after she sent me a VERY nasty e-mail so I had no choice but to confront her), she ripped ME a new one and tried to turn things back on to me, as if she was the victim. So I told her that I regretted befriending her in the first place. The fact that never once did she apologize for anything she said confirmed that I did the right thing by cutting ties from her. After all of that…she’s STILL pushing the issue and here it is almost 2 years later. REALLY!?!?!?
What could have happened: I could have ripped her a new one right then and there when she made the comments. But I was so shocked I didn’t know how to react.
What should have happened : She should have apologized and I would’ve told her that I have a high standard of friendship and she’s not reaching it (which is really funny because she’s only 4’10″…ha!).
What would have happened: In MY mind, she would just bugger off and leave me alone. But in reality, I would probably still be in the same situation.
Hindsight being what it is, I should have never befriended her in the first place, or kept her on the ‘Hello, how are you’ list. I only have a few regrets, and getting to know her is in the top 10.
Sigh. Coulda Shoulda Woulda. When you know better, you do better. I have promised myself to speak up when there’s something I don’t like, and I won’t hesitate to end a friendship if it’s not nurturing to my character.